Knitted Wine Bottle Cover

Wine makes a wonderful gift for any occasion. Honestly, what says "I love you and want you to be happy" more than a bottle of alcohol?

That being said, we often find ourselves trying to gift wrap it and ending up disappointed. Bags, wine bottle tubes, and fancy ribbons can only do so much. If you want to make a big impression, you need one of these covers!

Sized for a standard 750 ml bottle, it can be used for both wine and many types of liquor. The stockinette stitch gives it the elasticity to accommodate different bottle shapes. They can also be made in practically any color!

Not only is this cover reusable, but it also provides cushioning against bumps (that could result in a broken bottle of wine *frowny face*) and can even help keep wine cool while serving!

At just $5 each, you can't pass these covers up!

Tuna and Egg Cat Delicacies

I won't call them cookies for two reasons. First, they are much smaller than normal cookies (~1" in diameter). Second, I think that cats would be angry if these delicious morsels were referred to as "cookies" or "treats." Those terms should be reserved for lesser creatures, like dogs and children.

This feline delicacy features whole wheat flour, cornmeal, egg and real tuna. No added fat like those store bought treats. They even smell like tuna, which will definitely bring 'em running.

Each batch makes roughly 50 treats. Each treat can easily be broken up into pieces, which will make them last even longer. At $4.50 a batch, this is a healthy way to win over your cat's affection.

Christmas Ornaments v3.0 (Red and White)

These ornaments are a variant on the red and white ornaments featured earlier this month, sporting entwined red and white cord ribbon with gold beading.

While these definitely look different than their mono-color brothers, they're still only $8 each!

Pumpkin Spice Cookies

These cookies are soft and packed with pumpkin! Think of them as little spice cakes with a pumpkin kick.

They can be made plain ($7/batch) or with chocolate chips ($8/batch). Each batch yields well over 2 dozen.

Mint Chocolate Chip Cookies

"They smell like mint chocolate chip ice cream!"

"Oh my God, you MADE these?!"

"Where'd they all go?" *pout*

Those are just a few responses I've gotten for these cookies.

These chocolate chips are loaded with both normal chocolate chips and creme de menthe baking chips. There's even a little mint extract thrown in to give the cookie itself a hint of mint. I don't actually add the food coloring that makes them green (like in this photo), but I have to use this picture because everyone ate all the cookies before I could get a shot of them for the site!

Each batch makes roughly 2 1/2 dozen cookies. At $8.50 a batch, they're a lot cheaper than crack but probably twice as addictive.

Christmas Ornaments v2.0 (Red and Green)

These ornaments are a variant on the red and white ornaments featured earlier this month, sporting entwined red and green cord ribbon with gold beading.

While these definitely look different than their mono-color brothers, they're still only $8 each!

Cinnamon Pumpkin Dog Cookies

While you're filling up on pumpkin pie this holiday season, your dog is hating you. No, really. He wants pie, too.

Win his love back with these spectacular cookies!

These cookies feature the cinnamon and pumpkin your dog craves while omitting the extra sugars and fats found in your dessert. This means that while you may get fat, your best friend won't. ;)

These cookies run $8/batch. That's about 50-60 cookies, depending on how big I make them (typically 1-1.25" in diameter).

Get these while you can! It's not very easy to get pumpkin out of season. There's the chance that I won't be able to get it after the holidays, and then your dog will continue hating you until next winter. The good news is that they freeze for up to 6 months, so you can keep him loving you for a long time.

An Early Thanksgiving

While Turkey Day is still a few days off, I wanted to take a moment to thank everyone who has helped Lord Ozwald's Curious Goods. Whether you've placed an order, given a donation or just helped spread the word, we truly appreciate it. I am proud to say that as of this moment, we have raised $863.75. That's over 20% of the total anticipated costs associated with the TPLO and physical therapy!

I would like to personally thank the people who have placed orders or made donations: 

Chas Barlow

Matt Bridges

Adam Cole

Michael Cole

Nick Darnell

Arielle DeLisle

Peggy & Ross Finley

Jim & Jenness Gabris

Luciana Leopold

Michael McCollum

Stacy Saenz

Amy Streit

Lisa Studer

Trudy Taylor

Lauren Wasson

Lark Williams

Charlene Yang

Thank you all again. If he could, Oz would personally smother each of you in slobbery kisses while wiggling his butt in absolute affection. Alas, he has already gotten far too comfortable on the couch.

"Shot" Glass

Not sure exactly what's in your glass? This standard size shot glass gives you a gentle reminder.

I think these babies are pretty self-explanatory. They're made from brand new glassware rather than reclaimed glassware, which is reflected in the price at $2 each.

Hell in a Handbasket

We've all bought a big gift that comes in a small package. A piece of fancy jewelry, a high priced gift card, a magical key. Whatever it is, sometimes you end up feeling that the presentation doesn't reflect the value of the gift.

Well, problem solved! Show you care by giving that special someone Hell in a handbasket!

This unique gift basket contains a round box that is 1.5" tall with a 3" diameter. If it doesn't fit inside (perhaps a gift card), you could always adhere it to the underside of the box and bury it in the basket filler. Each basket is unique, rescued from the local thrift store and topped off with a big, red bow! This post contains all 6 currently available baskets.

At just $5, these baskets will make your gift twice as special without breaking the bank.

Chocolate Cherry Cookies

Do you like chocolate?
Do you like cherries?
Do you like cookies?

If you answered "yes" to all of the above, then you need these cherry-flavored cookies loaded with milk chocolate chips!

There isn't much else to say about these cookies. They taste awesome. It's kind of like a cherry cordial candy without all the mess.

Curious about this curious good? These cookies run $8 for two dozen.

Candy Cane Skull Ornament

Yeah, Halloween is over. *pout*

Wait a minute! Like an aspiring Dr. Frankenstein, I think I've found a way to revive this dead holiday by utilizing parts from another holiday!

It's alive! ALIIIIVEEEE! Mr. Candy Cane Skull Head ready to chug egg nog and make out under the mistletoe. If you had any doubt in his awesomeness, the silver zebra print ribbon hanger should let you know that he is FLAWLESS.

Bring your own undead ornament home for just $3!

Mustache Wine Glass

Get your 'stache on, wine people! They say that drinking wine makes you look more sophisticated. If that's true, then drinking wine in a mustache-sporting glass makes you look downright brilliant.

This particular 7" tall wine glass was rescued from the local thrift store. It does possess minor cosmetic imperfections (appearing as tiny streaks or scratches) but it is free of cracks and chips. The tiny marks are most likely not even visible when the glass is actually in use, but I don't like people to be surprised when they order an item.I've positioned the mustache opposite of the imperfections.

I currently have 2 more identical wine glasses available for 'staching. Due to the condition of the glasses, these are being listed at $3 each.

If you would prefer your mustache to adorn flawless (aka, new) glassware, they are available for $5 each.

Royal Purple Ornaments (Limited!)

Nothing says Christmas like royal purple. Oh, wait.  There is something that says Christmas even better: royal purple leopard print. Oh yeah, baby! Why should red and green get all the fun? Consider this ornament an advocate for equal opportunity in color and pattern representation during the holidays.

These over-sized (4" diameter?) ornaments were a surprise find at the local thrift store. And while that means that I was able to make an awesome decoration, it also means that the number of available items will be very limited. So if you want one of these, you’d better let me know quick! Only 4 will be available!

These furry ornaments are listed at $4 each. Don’t let them slip away!

Beer Cap Ornmanents, Round 1. FIGHT!

Does the Holiday Season drive you to drink?

The packed shopping malls. The distant relatives that are distant for a reason. The one bulb in your string of Christmas lights that has silently died and taken the rest of his brethren with him to the grave.

Honor the true holiday spirit of alcoholic pacification with these nifty ornaments!

Each ornament is adorned with the cap of bottled beer, a beer that was opened in our house during a moment of socialization, relaxation or possibly self-medication. Currently available ornaments are limited to our taste preferences (mainly Magners, Smithwick’s, and New Belgium Brewing Co.) and will be limited in number. If demand is high enough I may be willing to throw a few back in the name of art. Or you can just get the caps of choice to me for personalization!

The current ornament size (~2” diameter) is listed at $1.75 each (due to both smaller size and the lack of repainting). Larger or repainted ornaments will have prices adjusted accordingly.

Drink up!

Polka Dot Christmas Ornament

Add a little pizazz to your tree! These hand-painted polka dot ornaments are made from old decorations that had lost their shine. The base coat is done in a metallic color with flat acrylic paint for the dots. Then the whole thing is coated with acrylic sealer, accented with some feathery ribbon and topped with a gold bow for hanging.

This particular ornament was done in "fuchsia pearl" and topped with magenta feather ribbon. We also currently have paints in "antique gold," "metallic amethyst," "metallic gunmetal gray," "metallic blue topaz," "silver anniversary" and "antique copper."   The other available feather ribbons are teal, silver and red.

Each ornament is unique and the tell-tale qualities of homemade ornaments (brush strokes and other very minor imperfections) have been left intentionally. Otherwise it would just look like another store-bought item.

Each polka dot explosion is just $3! At that price, you can get a decent set for your tree, or for someone else's tree.

"Drink Me" Teacup

Are you a fan of Alice in Wonderland? Or do you simply forget what those cute, little handled cups are for?

Well my absent-minded Mad Hatter, I have the teacup for you!

Each glass cup was rescued from a thrift store, abandoned and forgotten for being painfully boring. It's not the teacup's fault; it was made that way. I've taken pity on these unwanted pieces of glassware and hope that these little makeovers will find them new, loving homes.

Whenever possible, I try to rescue them in sets. Sometimes I can only find one. This means that availability of pieces is completely luck of the draw.

Each teacup is $3.00. If the featured design doesn't float your boat, custom requests are always welcome!

Christmas Ornaments v1.0 (Red or White)

In the hustle and bustle of modern life, we find ourselves taking short cuts, buying pre-packaged frozen dinners and  2-in-1 hair products.

Christmas is no different. Heck, artificial trees come PRE-LIT now. Sure, it spares us the frustration of putting up the lights every year but it also robs future generations of yet another holiday "tradition;" that tradition of watching their parents' composure quickly deteriorate as they try to untangle the infamous ball of Christmas lights.

And then there are the pre-packaged boxes of tree ornaments. Color coded, assorted shapes and... well, that's it. No love, no memories. Just a box of perfect, pretty little balls, icicles, stars and bells. What happened to the Popsicle stick reindeer? The construction paper wreaths? The popcorn-string garland? Okay, our cats ate that one.

I challenge you to keep your tree from becoming a picture out of a Good Housekeeping magazine. Decorate your tree with things for which you can be sentimental. And these ornaments are a good place to start.

 

These ornaments started as old, discolored gold ornaments and now have a new lease on life thanks to corded ribbon and a little patience. I still need to add the ribbon loop to the top (which will replace the old, damaged metal hangers).

 In honor of the holiday season, I'm listing these ornaments at just a few bucks above the cost of materials. Get your own little piece of Curious Goods Christmas for just $8.

Peanut Butter Dog Cookies v2.0!

Practice makes perfect!

With a little patience, I was able to make the second round of peanut butter/rolled oat dog treats without adding extra water (which made them more like cookies and less like sticky lumps of goo). What does this mean for you? More cookies per batch! 

So what, you ask? Well, you OBVIOUSLY haven't let your dog try these treats.

In simple mathematical terms:
More cookies per batch = ability to give dog a second cookie when he won't go the heck away after the first cookie = increased likelihood that he will go away before a third cookie must be sacrificed for your sanity

These new, smaller cookies are 35 calories each with 1.3 grams fat (rather than 53 calories/2 grams fat). A batch will now make roughly 60 cookies (rather than the original 40). Obviously, the price per batch has not increased ($5).

Baby Oz Video (Nomnomnom!)

I came across this old video of Oz and Jekyll and couldn't resist posting it on the site.

Fuzzy Scarf Attack!

Aren't Tribbles adorable? You just want to grab one and smother it in affection. Star Trek writers really had a great idea there. Unfortunately, given their rotund figure, they are not ideal for wrapping around your neck.  The Tribbles, not the writers.

Then there are big muthafudgin' snakes. They do a great job of wrapping around your neck, but they're more likely to close your airway than keep you warm.

My friends, I have your solution. I have created a furry, snake-like artificial Tribble that can be posed around your neck during cold weather... or whenever you have the urge to wrap a long, furry inanimate object around your neck.

Behold... the furry neck scarf! These critters are 36" long and 4" wide, light-weight and available in many colors. This particular individual is sporting a Margaritaville-lime shade. They can also be done in multiple hues, or longer lengths (for the cost of more furry yarn guts).

The following warning should be mentioned: There is no guarantee that your new-found furry scarf friend won't try to strangle any current furry members of the household who may compete with it for attention. 

These jealous scarf critters are $8 each. And, unlike Tribbles, they do not breed like rabbits. Therefore, do not expect to buy two and open your own furry scarf farm. I've got that shite on lock down.

Oz LOVES Green Beans

This video speaks for itself.

Donation Button Added!

A good friend suggested that I add a paypal donation button to the site.

Despite my complete lack of knowledge of blogs, links, or pretty much anything else related to web pages, I have succeeded. Please don't be confused by the different email address that is associated with paypal. I just used the one I've had set up for years, rather than try to create a new one specifically for Lord Ozwald's Curious Goods.

To all who choose to donate, I thank you! I know that times are hard, the future is uncertain and the holidays are bearing down on us already. For those who prefer to purchase items, I am more than happy to earn your business.

<3

Knitted Leg Warmers & Arm Warmers for Baby

The weather is getting colder. This means buying more clothes for your little munchkin. But what if you could extend the life of those shorts and shirts? BEHOLD, your prayers have been answered!

If you're like me, you'll end up using these as a substitute for pants when you're at home. Why? You don't have to pull off their pants or shorts every time you need to change a diaper! And while your munchkin is exploring (aka, running a muck as she crawls around your now baby-proofed home), her knees will be protected as they cross carpet, tile, wood or fire. Okay, maybe not fire.

For cuteness effect, here's Tessa trying on the first leg warmer to check size and durability. 

These warmers can be done in any color, any size. This set is being done in Paton's "kimono" with "taupe" cuffs. They measure 9" long, with a 5" ankle circumference and 8" thigh circumference. Tess is already sporting 12-18 months clothes (despite being 10 months old), so this will give you an idea on how it would fit your little monster.

Each pair is $15.

Cheddar Cheese & Green Bean Dog Cookies

Make sure your dog eats his veggies! These cheddar cheese and green bean cookies combine the two things that all dogs (or at least MY dogs) love more than anything else in the world. Okay, maybe after butt scratches.

And the best part about these cookies? They're GOOD FOR THEM! Made with whole wheat flour, green beans, low fat cheese & milk, and low fat/low sodium beef broth... well, it's just... LOW! A single batch makes about sixty 11/4" cookies, which is good because your dog WILL NOT let you give them JUST ONE cookie. And that's okay, with each cookie only being 30 calories and 0.4 grams of fat. But don't tell them that.

Each batch (60 cookies) runs $7.50. They store for 3 weeks in the fridge and up to six months in the freezer. Personally, I don't think a batch will last a week in my house.

Coffee Cat Coasters, Take Two!

The surprisingly popular coffee cats now have a new version! This version sports variations in the original emotions and acrylic paint rather than pen. It also includes adorable, itty-bitty kitty paw prints because, face it, even cats made from stains can walk all over you.

These moody felines run $4/pair.

 Click HERE to see the original version!

Android Logo Coasters v2.0

New and improved! No, seriously.

These androids have the same color and attitude but are now painted on textured card stock that is then adhered to the tile. The white outline really makes the 'bots stand out, and the optional white pattern on the background adds even more charm without detracting from the main attraction.

 

Despite the increased labor and supplies, these 4"x4" coasters still only cost $4/pair!

Click HERE to see the original post with android placement variations!

8-Bit Mario Mushroom Coasters

Flaunt your inner geek. I said FLAUNT IT! Don't know how? These drink coasters will definitely be a step in the right direction.

This classic set is painted onto thick, textured card stock and adhered to ceramic tile. It's then coated in epoxy and double-coated in acrylic sealer. Below is an image from the prototypes (back when I tried painting directly onto tile... what an epic mistake!), which sports the "poison" mushroom which is also available.

These 4"x4" tiles are available in any combination of mushrooms and run $4/pair.

Peanut Butter Dog Cookies

The first round of dog cookies are complete! These cookies contain whole wheat flour, rolled oats and peanut butter. There is no added fat or sugar, and the peanut butter aroma is awesome! Each cookie contains 53 calories and 2 grams of fat.

 

I decided to go with a traditional drop cookie to take advantage of the rolled oat texture. Both of our dogs LOVE these cookies and I'm sure your pups will, too. These cookies are good for 3 weeks in the fridge, 6 months in the freezer. I promise you that your dog won't let them go to waste!

Each batch makes 40 cookies and costs $5.

Wine Cork Trivet

Do you like to enjoy a little wine while you entertain? There's no shame in being a lush!

These authentic Yellow Tail corks were provided by my lovely friend, Stacy. The trivet itself is tumbled stone and sits on 1/2" cork "feet" to protect your table.

No two trivets will be alike. I'm currently 1 cork short of a matching trivet. I can also made trivets specific to a certain brand of wine (you just need to provide the corks). Providing your own corks will result in a reduced price for the trivet, as I don't drink enough to start mass productions and would therefore have to buy corks.

This trivet will kick your decor up a notch at $8 each.

Oz, Cat Cuddle Buddy

Oz and Jinx decided to get some cuddles in while I was doing some late night chores.