Utensil Monsters

Every day, countless orphan utensils are abandoned at thrift stores. Some are tarnished, others are out-dated, but all want nothing more than a place to call home: a home where people will smother them in food and then shove them into their mouths.

Well, those poor little orphan forks, spoons and knives are going to have to keep on dreaming. My interests fall into a much more Frankensteinian theme. In fact, to quote Mary Shelley, "nothing contributes so much to tranquillize the mind as a steady purpose." And my purpose? To tranquilize my mind through the creation of UTENSIL MONSTERS!

Behold, FrankenFork! Don't let his quadruped appearance fool you. He's actually quite civilized.

And meet the Bride of FrankenFork, SpooUlla! She may seem a bit shy at first, but she's an excellent singer and dancer who has come all the way from Sweden to get her big break.

This Monster and his Bride are very much in love. And for the more curious readers, THIS is how baby Spork Monsters are made.

While no blasphemous baby Spork Monsters are available at this time (I'm not clear on the gestation time of an iced tea spoon), I possess the power to clone FrankenFork and SpooUlla for your enjoyment. At the scientifically low price of $2.50 per monster, you can have your own spork-producing pair or a whole army!