Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Ralf Clones (Promote a higher plane of existence!)

Meet Ralf. Once he was just a pile of felt fabric and stuffing. Now he’s a sandwich of felt fabric and stuffing. A sandwich … with a dream. 

What dream, you may ask? Why, the dream of becoming the center of the universe. 

And he’s willing to do whatever it takes to make his dream come true.

But how can you help, you may ask?

Here’s the thing. Ralf has attained a higher plane of existence. While one would assume this means that Ralf has evolved beyond his physical body that is not actually the case. He needs more bodies now. And the more bodies he can attain, the more powerful he becomes. The more powerful he becomes, the closer he comes to becoming the center of the universe. 

This is where you come into play. You will provide him with one of those bodies. No, silly, not YOUR body. You will buy a Ralf clone that you will love and cherish and worship. By requesting your own custom Ralph clone, or adopting one of the currently available clones, you bring Ralf one step closer to triumph. The bodies (or “vessels,” if you want to sound all dark and mystical) can be any color combination of your preference. It’s okay, Ralph is color blind. 

Become a loyal follower of Ralf for the low price of $10.

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