DO NOT TAUNT THE CHEF Apron

What do you get when you teach an octopus to cook? A chef that can slap you silly while mincing, sautéing and stirring all at once. For those of us who like to cook but don’t have the extra appendages, maybe this apron will do the trick. 

This logo is hand painted using fabric-permanent paints (the apron in these photos has already been washed and shows no flaking or fading). The apron itself measures 32” wide and 36” long and is 100% cotton and stain resistant. It’s fully adjustable and sports a nifty double pocket on the front.  

Each item is made to order and costs just $25. If you want to use your own apron the cost is just $10!

Samwise of SpamCakes: Sock Monster, Thrill Seeker

Samwise of SpamCakes is a peculiar sock monster indeed. Rocking a classic argyle pattern and sporting somewhat creepy button eyes, it’s unclear if you should love him or hate him. Let’s go with love, because otherwise you won’t buy him. (Face it, the only people who you hate yet still spend money on are relatives.)

Made from a [clean] pair of novelty socks and stitched entirely by hand using a strong crochet thread, a lot of time and patience has gone into making this little guy. Now, after all that hard work, he spends his days trying to avoid the boredoms of everyday life. He longs for excitement and adventure. Honestly, the company of Jekyll and these other sock monsters aren't doing it for him. You can see the disappointment in his face. 

 

Dear Sam would like to come and live with you. He’s already housebroken and gets along well with cats. We haven’t tested him with dogs, but that’s primarily for his own safety. Adopt him today for just $10!

Puffy Pig Plushies

Puffy pig, puffy pig, let me come in.

These little pigs are two thirds of a trio I made for the daughter of a friend (the first one escaped with her before I got a picture). She picked the colors, I made the pigs. Each one measures 3.5" long and 2.5" tall.

At just $4 per pig, you too can have your own little farm of felt pork chops.

Western Blot Coasters

Anyone who thinks that science always works when you follow protocol obviously doesn't do science. These coasters are proof of this fact.

Made from the discarded blue films of Western blots gone wrong, these coasters are 4" in diameter, backed with sanded cork and sealed with a generous coating of epoxy. No two are the same, though all have brought equal shame to their creators.

Whatever the failure, each set of 4 is just $6.

Jackalope Painting: 5"x6"

The jackalope. Fact or fiction?  

I personally prefer the theory that they are a cross between an extinct species of pygmy deer and an elusive species of killer rabbits (which were probably engineered by the government and accidently set loose on the unsuspecting public... Night of the Lepus, anyone?).

Whatever your preference, this is an awesome little work of art. Painted with black and gray acrylics on a reclaimed lumber, this piece measures roughly 5”x6” and is ready for hanging. 

Bring home this adorable little guy for $10.

Apple Dog Cookies

Okay people, it's time for more dog treats. And judging by our dogs' pestering once these came out of the oven, this recipe is a winner!

These whole wheat cookies are sweetened with apple sauce and perfected with chunks of fresh apple. Low fat, low sugar and tons of deliciousness. One batch makes ~50 cookies (I've finally invested in a cookie dough scoop to help me from going crazy... and to make cake pops!). For just $7.00, you can be your canine's hero.

Decapitated Fish & Bird Toys: Mr. Fish & Ms. Bird

Satisfy your feline's urge to inflict carnage without all those gross blood and guts getting on your carpet. Oh, and no one has to die.

These are Mr. Fish and Ms. Bird, more unfortunate felt creatures whose sole purpose is to entertain your cat. The soft fabric and string "guts" provide texture and flair. A small sprinkle of catnip within their heads provides that high your kitty friend is jonesing for.

Fiona decided it was her turn to check out these play things.

At just $1 each, you could buy your feline a plate full of mangled victims. Which will come in handy when she starts hoarding them under the fridge, behind the bed and in your shoes. Besides, having just decapitated Mr. Mouse heads strewn across your home will look so boring.

Decapitated Mouse Toy: Mr. Mouse

Satisfy your feline's urge to inflict carnage without all those gross blood and guts getting on your carpet. Oh, and no one has to die.

This is Mr. Mouse, an unfortunate felt creature whose sole purpose is to entertain your cat. The soft fabric and string "guts" provide texture and flair. A small sprinkle of catnip within the mouse head provides that high your kitty friend is jonesing for.

Jinx was more than willing to check out this new critter.

Even Oz wanted a peek. Unfortunately he also wanted a taste.

At just $1 each, you could buy your feline a plate full of mangled Mr. Mouses. Which will come in handy when she starts hoarding them under the fridge, behind the bed and in your shoes.

The Breakfast Club Magnets

They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and these three amigos would definitely agree.

Mr. Bacon, Mr. Egg and Miss Toast are pint-sized (~2" tall) polymer clay magnets that will greet you with a smile every morning. So raise a glass of orange juice and toast to deliciousness.

Mix and match them any way you please for just $2 each!

Fall Clearance

The weather is getting cooler and my craft room has become crowded. I've slashed the prices on my finished knit items, as well as coasters, trivets and other items that I've finished but are still sitting on the shelf waiting for a home. Take a look and see if there's something you like. Remember, the holidays are just a few months away!

COASTERS:
Teal Floral Coasters $8 $4 (pictured)
Chinese Dragon Coasters $12 $6 (set of 6, pictured)
French Letter Coasters $8 $4 (pictured)

KNIT ITEMS:
Ruffled Wrist Warmers: $15 $5 (pictured set, gray)
Twisted Lace Wrist Warmers: $15 $5 (pictured set, brown)
Rainbow Wrist Warmers: $15 $5 (pictured set, ROYGBV)
Skinny Black Scarf: $10 $5 (pictured)
Wide Waffle Scarf: $15 $7.50 (pictured, pink/cream/brown)
Baby Leg Warmers: $15 $5 (pictured, pink/green/brown)
Green Fuzzy Scarf: $8 $4 (pictured)
Wine Bottle Cover: $5 $2.50 (pictured)
Wild and Crazy Cowl!  $20 $10 (pictured)
Twisted Knit Scarf  $15 $7.50 (pictured)

TILE ITEMS:
Tile Trivets, Tan Stone $3 $1.50 (2 available)
Wordy Tile Trivets $3 $1.50 (3 available, pictured)

GLASS ITEMS:
"Drink Me" Tea Cup: $3 $1 (1 available)
"Shot" Shot Glass: $2 $1 (1 available)
Margarita Glass Candle Holder  $3 $1 (1 available)
"Stained Glass" Wine Glass $2.50 $1 (1 available)
Recycled Sari Yarn Vases  $5 $3 (2 available, pictured)
ALL WORK AND NO COFFEE MAKES JACK A DANGEROUS EMPLOYEE mug $1 $.50 (pictured)

FRAMES:
Paper and Ribbon Picture Frame $6 $3 (pictured)

SEWN ITEMS:
Super Fat Felty Kitty Magnets $2 $1 (pictured)
Mr. Wobbles, Mega-Cuddle Plush $5 $3 (pictured)
Ralf Clones (Promote a higher plane of existence!) $10 $5 (pictured)
Mr. Wobbles, the friendly monster magnet  $1.50 $1 (pictured)


MISC:
Utensil Monsters $2.50 $1 (one of each available, pictured)